If You Want Growth, Let Go

Advice to let go to grow, heal, or find peace would meet my younger self with utter defiance. Was it that these gurus had nothing bad happen to them or lived in some Pollyannaish existence? I may have held on to whatever story or emotion harmed me simply to spite them. Now, I offer this guidance as sound wisdom. Learning how to let go may be the challenge and gift of a lifetime. It is the means to use your energy more masterfully. Each of us has been the gum on our shoe, the hairball in the drain, and the driller of holes in the bucket of life. We are, indeed, both the problem and the answer.

Let go and surrender to the natural currents that align with your inner being. Your unique vibrational code seeks every experience intended for you. Fear of the pains of growth, an uncertain future, and undesired, uncontrollable realities will have most of us white-knuckled, refusing to say, uncle. Inner resistance playing out as unwanted thoughts and emotions brings experiences that will shake you awake and humble you until you concede to growth.

There was a time when being the recipient of a right hook to the jaw was preferable to a free fall into the unknown. We’re conditioned to believe that fear, worry, and regret accomplish something productive. This survival wiring, rather than keeping you safe, wears you down. The ice-cold grip of the unknown, the phantom weight of what might be, and the bitter sting of what already happened block our alignment with what could be. Bracing against is the inner vice that squelches the beautiful unfolding of our lives. Learn to be soft, to transform what feels hard.

Let go because the only certainty is impermanence.

Last week, I attended a memorial service for a client who had suddenly passed away. That day would have been the ninth birthday of my beloved cat, Riley. It was a reminder of how completely emotionally unprepared we were for his sudden passing. My heart went out to the family of my client. This same morning, I brought a dying chicken home to either perform some miraculous TLC recovery or hospice vigil. It ended up being the latter. The energy of here today, gone tomorrow, reminds me somberly of the law of impermanence. Letting go of attachments means recognizing that life will unfold with unexpected changes, beginnings, and endings. Let go because control is an illusion, and surrender is peace.

To love the life you live, let go of what used to be and flow with what is.

My mom has been suffering from age-related cognitive impairment for some time now. Before I cook her meals, I hunt down items and return them to their rightful places. I no longer get accolades for my culinary mastery. Some days, she puts her fork to her mouth with little awareness of the food she is eating and, when done, leaves the table without notice to return to coloring. I miss how she used to express how amazing the food I made tasted. I’m learning to let go of the need for these moments to be anything else.

There are graver, heavier thoughts I need to breathe through. I cue myself to remember the phrase I get to. It has replaced I have to, so I’ll return to a space of gratitude when things feel hard. I’m acutely aware that my presence and enjoyment of the moments are becoming more vital as her capacity to be present diminishes.

Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don’t struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality.

Pema Chodron

Existence is constantly changing. How will it change? We cannot know for sure. Life is a surge of unpredictable currents that offer only one certainty: the flow of life will deliver the unexpected. Let go of your need to know. Anticipating a loss can cause you to grieve hundreds of times before an actual loss. Often, we grieve losses in our minds that never end up occurring. Believe in the power of your mastery to maintain elevated feeling states, gratitude, and positive expectations no matter what reality presents to you. The realities you see are determined by which lens you view them through. Read more: Find Joy in What You Choose to See.

What to Let Go of:

• Habits that harm you
• Regret. Bring what supports you into the future
• Limiting beliefs! Those that conflict with what you desire
• The need to know what the future will look like
• Inner Rebellion to any reality you don’t want to exist
• Illusion of Control
• Expectations

Let Go of Your Inner Rebellion

Your innermost desires at the core of your vibrational being, the experiences your soul has desired for you in this lifetime, are always there, calling out under the surface. In our impatience and negative expectations, we derail these innate magnets.

Expand Your View

Morgan Freeman, who plays God in the movie Bruce Almighty, says, “If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?” We set intentions, say prayers, or make universal requests only to curse the delivery. Maybe your focus rendered something unexpected or failed to bring fulfillment. Your rebellion will not fix the result. If you let go of how you believe things should be, you learn from what shows up. So your order didn’t arrive on a platter with a side of sauce. The apparatus is still always working. When we relax and allow our natural flow, better shows up.

Let Go of Needing to Know the How

For some time, I’ve desired to eat cleanly and enjoy a robust digestive system unencumbered by sugars, excessive fats, or alcohol. These desires have bubbled under my intentional forethought, yet my healthy habits waned. I thought my order would never arrive right before my gut produced the answer. I woke at 3:33 a.m., doubled over, ready to retch. The time on the clock lets me know Jesus cares, so there’s some solace in that.

Discomfort drives me to do the thing I resist doing, insisting I consume better or suffer the consequences. Chewing slowly, eating less, and avoiding certain foods are foreign to my conditioning. My habits are pretty healthy, but my innermost desire is for a higher standard. What this means is the Texas Roadhouse visit that included the first-time patronage sampler, a bowl of yummy rolls, and beer is out of the question.

Bowing at the porcelain throne, I remember I also ate Caesar salad. I imagine Jesus is there holding my hair, wanting to declare: I told you not to! He withholds the remark because he’s gracious and would never rub it in.

The How-To Is Made Clear

My partner and I love to cook, and we do it well. I look forward to the pleasure of eating. Our puppy hurries the speed of my consumption, staring me down with wanton eyes prepared to snipe upon any lapse in concentration. My mom is also looking forward to an eating companion. Cooking and eating are expected of me. It’s time to let go of all these pressures to consume and do it fast. The universe has delivered my order. An answer to eating cleanly, the push to execute it faithfully, is handed to me in the form of GI upset.

Let Go By Clearing The Landscape

Purging is addictive. I’ve decluttered so many times that I’m at the point where I need to visit a tag sale or auction to get more stuff to shuffle other things out. It was time to take my captivating, clearing compulsions outdoors. During the mandatory retreat to our homes in 2020, I redirected my energy into landscaping my yard. It started with cutting back dying trees and old growth that strangled the light from any emerging flora with a cloak of shade.

At first, I attacked the task bullishly, pulling tree after tree out of the woods. Taking a broader look, my heart sank in regret about my haste. Was I tearing apart tree families? I’m pretty sure I was. Slowing the process to listen to their energy, I removed volunteers and more thoughtfully considered the wishes of the woods’ communities. To ruthlessly eliminate whatever feels problematic or isn’t aesthetically pleasing doesn’t honor an ecosystem more complicated than my whims to have it exist my way. Feeling hollow about my brashness, I paused. Perhaps just a branch, not the entire tree, needs trimming. Gently purging maintains balance and provides better growing conditions.

To honor more than the perception of my gaze, I’m careful and intentional in my pruning practices.

My energy and mood elevate as I wind through the flora and fauna. These activities stir movement within me. The landscape is now free of what is sick and invites a fresh view with a cascade of sunlight alien to this part of the woods. Nature’s lesson in letting go has filled me with immense appreciation, and I’m committed to approaching other areas of my life with this same lightness.

I realize there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting things go.

Jeffrey McDaniel

This year, Mother Nature has done the selection process for me. Having done the larger pruning tasks in previous years, what is dead is easy to spot and ready for removal. This new process flows as if what needs to go is beckoning me with whispers that say: I’m no longer needed here. Come and whisk me away! My wish for you: is that any limiting belief, negative self-evaluation, and fear surface and release with this level of charity. If this is not your experience, invite love and comfort to shine down from the heavens.

In case this invitation doesn’t resonate or you’re not prepared to entertain this level of surrender, consider how you may claim this for yourself. Read more: Spring Clean A Path to Freedom. When you finally decide that ruminating on what you don’t like doesn’t serve some higher good and you’re ready to break the cycle of the ego loop and let go, try this:

• Check in and scan for inner sensations of discordant emotions. Breathe in and drop down to disconnect from internal dialogue that feels harmful.
• Create a go-to mantra that feels soothing and grounding. “It’s okay”, “Easy does it” or simply “Breathe in, Breathe out”.
• Breathe deeply into your belly as you lift your consciousness between your brows.
• Commit to mindfulness practices that keep you in the present moment. Read more: Be Mindful Within a Distracted World & Live Better.

Let Go of Beliefs That Conflict With What You Desire

Practice releasing the stories that keep you from feeling anything less than precious. If you don’t like how you see yourself, you’re not entertaining the right story. Detach from narratives that won’t support your desired outcomes. Loving yourself in ways that make no conditions for self-acceptance elevates your understanding of the importance of your presence. Let go of believing this level of love and acceptance needs to come from the outside. You so deeply deserve the experiences that come with self-love. Not the bubble bath kind of self-love (although that’s also nice), but divine love.

Self-love is the higher love that helps you let go of outdated identities connected to old stories not in service to you.

Fully love and appreciate all that you are and all that you presently have. Doing this will help you let go of attachments to anyone and anything that does not truly support and honor you. This includes the release of any past version of self-identity you don’t want to carry forward.

In a nutshell, love yourself like Jesus loves you, and whatever life throws at you, you will handle it, primed for growth and with grace. If mention of Jesus stirs the anger pot, align with the unconditionally loving and compassionate consciousness that feels right for you. You are that consciousness, just like Jesus, the Buddha, or the Great Pumpkin. Accept and then embody the bigger you, and you’ll grow into a more favorable story.

Fear is a messenger.

Fear tells us there is a belief that doesn’t match our desired outcomes. Oftentimes, these defunct beliefs convince us we won’t survive whatever shows up that we don’t want. If you are reading these words, congrats! You have prevailed 100% of the time thus far. Anchored in the energy of your highest desires, knowing who you are and what you’ve already overcome, you are mighty! From here, you prevail triumphantly.

Let go of expectations of how you believe a beautiful life should look!

No external condition is required for you to claim the worthiness that is your birthright. Let go of the belief that you’re not doing enough to make circumstances better. This means pulling your energy back from the things that disturb your inner peace. Change the negative interpretations of your present realities so you’re intentionally finding what is good at any moment. This will stop the siphoning of your energy toward what you don’t desire. As you clear the energetic debris that blocks your innermost alignment, you’ll cultivate a stronger connection with your higher mind. Allow with ease from the top down to grow exponentially.

Let Go and Get Ready To Grow!

There’s only this moment. Release the desire for these moments to be anything other than what they are. The fruit is ripe and ready for harvest as you live in appreciation of all you already possess.

Please visit my Coaching Service’s page for more information or contact me to book an appointment for support to let go so you may grow closer to your highest, most powerful alignment. Are you looking to upgrade your personal spaces to free yourself from the clutter? Find me here: Estelle Bonaceto. Environmental upgrades that clear out the residue of the past create an energetic space to let go of inner resistance! Isn’t it time you let go of what is harmful, unnecessary, or imposed on you? Withdraw your hooks in things, release, grow, and expand!