How do you find joy? You make discovering it a priority over everything else. To do this, reassign the meaning you attach to people and circumstances that make you feel troubled. Change your interpretations so that what once caused anxiety now strengthens you. As you master this new way of explaining your world, it will transform your perception, offering you peace and purpose. You will then find joy in reflecting the light you see back to those who need it the most.
Matt Hardy
Everyone is in their unique dream world, so no one has the same experience. If every moment is determined by the meaning we assign to it, doesn’t it behoove us to make the best use of our snapshots? If we train ourselves on what to look for, then the snippets we take of any situation have greater potential to elicit joy, contentment, peace, or, at the very least, neutrality.
Neutrality: A Step To Find Joy
Our 6-month-old puppy made a sniper attack on my arm. My almost completely healed forearm wound from her last free-for-all ripped open. She had bloodstained fur, looking like she’d just taken down small prey. It took some time for me to slow my pounding heart and I hesitated to inspect the battered limb.
There are many ways I could interpret and recall this incident. I could view her as a disobedient dog, or decide she hates me. I could replay the moment of the assault or create an anxious story about the future. The alternative is to accept that it happened with neutrality. I’m not joyful, but without assigning meaning, I remain calm.
I still love our puppy, and my wounds will heal. She embodies joy but is learning I’m not her chew toy. Moving forward at this developmental stage, I am better prepared to entertain a certain level of self-protection. I choose to see the growth potential.
Emotional Detachment From Outside Opinions and Dark Lenses
It’s fine to withdraw attention from someone whose distinct reality from your own makes them oppositional, attacking with a charged perspective. You needn’t assign meaning to this contrary viewpoint or engage in a fruitless exchange. In doing this, you can maintain neutrality and find joy in acceptance, regardless of those differences. This does not suggest excusing what’s destructive. Emotional detachment helps you communicate, set needed boundaries, and discern where your energy is best served.
A higher vantage point reveals several realities exist. What you choose to see determines your experience at any moment. Which reality will you grab onto? Accept what is, then pivot toward what you want to see. When you concentrate on your desired thoughts and emotions, the universe will provide more to experience, or choose to focus on the undesirable reality and you’ll get more of that.
Find Joy in Knowing it’s Enough To Do Your Best
If you struggle to find beauty within humanity, look to nature. Something precious always exists in the natural world. I love to photograph wildlife and commune with its energies. It is a sure way to ground, connect within, and yes, to find joy.
A few years ago, I listed some of my photographs on Etsy and included short guided descriptions. I enjoy prayerfully intending gifts and pictures, so I created the shop to offer digital downloads and simple merchandise imbued with the energetic qualities associated with the photograph. The shop’s name translates to “Picture a Beautiful Life” and I intend that each purchase will help the customer do just that!
I enjoyed writing the descriptions for the listings, but had no interest in SEO or social media marketing, so the shop stayed inactive. One day I saw a notice that someone from Texas had purchased a card. Delighted, I messaged the buyer to thank her and communicate my plans to prepare the item for mailing. The following day, I prayerfully intended the card, packaged it lovingly, and blessed it as I dropped it in the mail. I even paid extra shipping costs to ensure the item arrived in pristine condition.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t make money on the sale. I found joy in the process and felt elevated, knowing the recipient would benefit.
It’s hard to understand why people don’t always receive our heartfelt intentions. The one-star review I received about a week later had me wondering if she and I lived in different universes. In the review, she suggested she could have purchased this item at Walmart for half the price. I was disturbed by what she wrote and annoyed she didn’t think to contact me.
With a fresh understanding, I realized that the energy of the hawk’s essence, which she needed, had found its way to her as she absentmindedly bought my card, thinking it was a framed picture. Part of the description on the card includes the proverb: “If you chase two rabbits, both will escape”. She was not shopping for an energetically imbued card, she was seeking a bottom-dollar framed picture. The description went unread. My awareness of her experience diffused the charge associated with the review. We are in different states of consciousness, and our realities are incongruous.
I did my “job”. I find joy in knowing it is enough to do my best. We do not need approval to be satisfied. Our good energetic investments always yield results. We may never know how, where, or when they bear fruit.
Find Joy in Letting Go of Others’ Distorted Snapshots
Faulty snapshots will poison your view of a higher truth. What feels harmful requires boundaries and a grounded perspective. Otherwise, distorted perceptions imposed on you may derail your efforts to find joy. Your projections or incomplete views of people and situations will also taint your connections. Read Spring Clean A Path To Freedom for tips on how to keep a clear view.
Multiple unique realities co-exist between individuals. So at any moment, you may experience the same event differently than someone else. A range of interpretations exist for each of us. Like a magical eraser, a change in consciousness will shift your perspective and present a new reality. Experiencing a shift from a darkened outlook to a lighter one can lead you to greater clarity and acceptance, ultimately assisting you in letting go.
“What are you allowing in your life that keeps messing with your enlightened station?” Do unwanted memories or undesirable stories drag you into joyless experiences? Do you address harmful projections as they happen or stay silent, only to allow these moments to continue to poison your mind and energy long after those offenses? If you do, like I’ve done… stop that shit! You’ll find joy often and in almost everything when you master how to choose what you see.
Turn the dial to your favorite station instead of the one playing the song you hate and you’ll find joy! If you can’t conjure joy, shoot for neutrality. It’s often the precursor to acceptance and an energetic shift. Also, don’t allow someone else to control the dial, including a less healed version of yourself. When this happens, remind yourself of your choice of stations.
Boundaries! Where You Won’t Find Joy
Develop skill at staying present during times of stress and conflict. It will help you create boundaries that lessen poisoning from external factors that rouse emotions or steer you back toward outdated explanatory styles. You’ll begin to see how thought patterns have led to feelings of being victimized and how that weakens you. These thought patterns, similar to other addictions, are self-protective (and self-sabotaging) dulling what doesn’t feel good. External focus is a trap that thwarts efforts to find joy. These attempts to control the outside don’t lead to your desired outcomes.
In particular, Joy will elude us when our focus is on:
- punishing those who cause harm
- blaming people and situations
- staying complacent or pretending the offensive is not happening
- winning conflicts at all costs
- adding to someone’s negative self-image
Boundaries help you practice self-compassion and emotionally detach, so you may entertain other ways of viewing your world.
Think of the damaging, repeated sound bites that have defined people and situations. Distorted information has been used to squash political candidates, shape opinions about celebrities, and to slander regular people. The motivation to circulate harmful representations stems from pride, competition, and a desire to discredit individuals who challenge the status quo. Look beyond this.
Richard Bach
Reflect on the possibility that presented snapshots do not represent a person. Maybe there was an inaccurate snapshot you allowed to define you. Let no one impose a view that diminishes your light. Find joy in letting go of any perspective that does not add value to your overall presence.
As someone who lives by signs and synchronicities, I’ve learned it’s critical to follow what elevates, increases beauty, and nurtures life. Higher guidance feels supportive and loving. If what you focus on ignites unease, the energetic return is based on fear. Your perceptions and interpretations from the wrong channel do not connect you to an accurate compass. Never give away your joy or your peace. You’re too precious to waste your energy in that way! We are all here now to give our light, especially in dark spaces.
Work within the present moment to allow all things outside yourself to be with acceptance and non-reactivity. This is an empowered way to choose for your higher good and to find joy.
Find Joy in Being Who You Are
Those who change into false forms to avoid being seen negatively miss out on opportunities to experience the joy of being authentic. Your life is not a performance in which impromptu acting is required to please a demanding audience. Whatever is going on in your life and, however, you arrive is the real thing. The world and its cast of players with pasted-on smiles, mouths agape to convey the joy that is not actually experienced, is the show. You needn’t be thinner, thicker, or blonder. Not wealthier, smarter, or more refined. Be unapologetically all that you are.
When I had my studio, participants knew they were welcome in whatever way they showed up. It was a space for anyone to be accepted in their real, often messy form. This kind of environment allows for wholeness and gentle shifts toward interpreting situations and circumstances in ways that lead to benefit. Hiding or concealing does not lead to higher outcomes. Find joy in living what is, whatever that is. If what you love doing elevates your vibe, this is your inner compass steering your ship toward victory!
Help Others Find Joy by Showing Them an Accurate Mirror
Old faulty programs play out when the world is afraid. Under the conditions of an activated nervous system, in times of grief, loss, lack, or impairment, your view may become dim. A truer mirror will unearth what hides from view. A snapshot that encapsulates the beauty of your essential essence buried beneath the fear of judgment and negative comparison may unveil another view, helping you to find joy.
People often fear not being genuinely seen or measuring up to trending standards. To be as you are is beautiful. Contentedness in being as you are will help you find joy. Whenever you can, let the reflection you offer another evoke feelings of satisfaction in who they are. It uplifts us when surrounding people promote feelings of safety and calm so the light can break free. Find joy in simple connection. Look through the lens of goodness and share it within those exchanges.
Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.
Marvin J. Ashton
I love taking pictures of people who don’t have an accurate sense of their essential beauty. I’ll become slightly performative to distract them, explain I won’t keep any unflattering pictures, and then take so many photos that people get comfortable with me hanging around. Soon after, they’ll soften, allowing me to capture the moments they find joy. Later, looking through the photographs, I feel elated by viewing the beauty I’ve captured. This is likely a common experience among professional photographers. Sharing these snapshots with the subject is gratifying. We do this without cameras in what we reflect, unaware of the impact, all the time.
If you struggle to let light in…
You needn’t wait for external conditions to experience this safety. Inner beauty liberated instantly enhances outer beauty. This is a gift you can give yourself. Do you let yourself believe the positive reflections you receive? Practice entertaining compliments, kindness, and the beautiful reflections you receive, as true.
Find Joy in Simple Appreciation of Life
The foundation from which you find joy is solid and vibrant, composed of simple activities that fill your senses with delight and contentment. This spot in the woods is where I enjoy my first sip of coffee. Sounds of nature lull me into a calm; sweet, and comforting as the morning breeze. Snapshots of beauty abound. There is no challenge to my senses or my ability to master what is contrary. It is a place that sets the baseline for me to gauge when it’s time to recharge.
Some days, even with our best efforts, our view is bleak. Old patterns of interpreting the world creep in. Perhaps you lose hope in people or the prospect of positive outcomes. Just as you believe you’ve mastered the ability to find joy, dullness or darkness may permeate your good vibes. Have a foundation to return to.
A few of those days challenged my view recently. An over-expenditure of energy given out left me feeling uninspired. A beautiful basket of garden-grown eggplant and tomatoes instead of appearing delightful looks like work. Because something within me was blocked, I focused on improving my presence rather than pushing my productivity. My environment speaks to me, but I don’t want to listen.
Babbette, my cat, is peeing on the floor in random places. I interpret this to mean an expression of anger improperly placed. The washer runs error codes E1 F9, suggesting it’s not draining properly. My dehumidifier is full again, blinking blue light and demanding to be emptied. The energetic environment suggests there is too much water (emotion) and it needs to be discharged. It’s hot and sticky outside, but I have no motivation to put on a bathing suit to go for a swim. I always like to swim. It is my go-to tool for energetic clearing and emotional balance, but today I resist. Apparently, I wish to stew in whatever residual unforgiving parts are surfacing and not find joy.
The last time my washer ran error codes was when I wrote a blog about gratitude titled, Practice Gratitude For Wellness: (7) Solid Tips. That was January, and hard things had just happened. I look at the seemingly never-ending pile of breaded eggplant that needs to be fried now. I’m feeding a few with this eggplant, not a small army. And if it’s not complete, we still eat. This deliberate mental reframe also feels like work. For a moment, I recoil from how this sounds dismissive of my experience like I’m forcing myself to find joy.
The reframe highlights how ignorant we can be of our privilege, and yet it’s necessary to soften into the gift of the present moment.
What will I choose to see? Living my best life depends on returning to the foundation I have nurtured. It reminds me I am blessed. From here, the possibilities are unlimited. Maybe I use the eggplant to entice raccoons into my compost. A.I just informed me that raccoons like to eat eggplant and sometimes play and wrestle with them at night. I’m smiling already!
To learn about services that support your intentions to find joy in fresh perspectives, please visit my Coaching Services or Metaphysical Services (Spiritual Tools 101) pages.
Are you interested in supportive services to help create an environment that supports intentional living? Please visit me here: Estelle Bonaceto. Choose to see the goodness that exists in the life you’re living right now. There is joy to be found in the realities of your choosing.
This is so wonderful, Estelle, so rich with nuggets of wisdom. So timely, as well. You seem to know what we need to hear, with perfect timing! Thank you for sharing your special gifts. I look forward to reading more of your blogs!
Thank you, Kirby! I’m so happy to know the article offered something helpful at the time you needed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blogs I now they can be lengthy 🙂